Sunday, July 6, 2008

How I Got the Gas... Part 2

This original story was written in 2003, a part of my original blog so long ago. Only about a dozen people have access to that blog. It is a completely different animal, and way too personal for me to open up for the public, but at least you get a part of it. I'll be back, more or less by Monday, until then, enjoy...

Since my last gas story was so well received I thought I’d share yet another interesting “gas” story. It was the summer of ‘93, I just graduated high school and was in basic training at Ft. Lennard Wood. Part of the genius super-soldier training included how to protect yourself from a chemical or biological attack. This section of training involved being exposed to CS (chemical smoke) gas or riot control gas. We also liked to call this day “Drill Sergeant Day”.

On this particular day the drill sergeants were really chipper and even in good moods. We march out to the gas chamber with our protective masks in hand somewhat apprehensive about what we are going to experience. When we get there we see that the gas chamber has a glass wall on one side. We soon thereafter discover that this glass wall is there for the viewing pleasure of the drill sergeants and their families...yes that’s right their families. They had video cameras and picnic baskets, hell they even brought baby strollers and their dogs.

We are sent to the chamber in groups of 10 or so. Upon entering the room, with our gas masks on, my skin starts to burn a little and this black guy behind me begins to loose it. I glance outside the window and notice all the laughing and pointing going on outside the window. So anyway there’s a guy inside the chamber telling us to do stuff and he isn’t going to let us out until EVERYBODY does it. Like a fool, when he orders everyone to remove their mask and breathe, I’m the 1st one taking it off and I suck in this toxic shit and instantly I’m choking, gaging, coughing, and snotting uncontrollably. The black guy is still running around, going ape and the guy running the chamber won’t let us out until he gets his. So me and my roommate grab the black guy and I jerk off his mask. He then proceeds to throw up all the while “the family” is recording and enjoying every minute of it. Then the “gas man” starts really fucking with us. Asking us stupid questions basically making us talk so we breathe in more gas and choke some more. We finally became boring or whatever and he let us out. And there we were, finally in fresh air with snot and the black guy’s puke all over us and never more thankful to be outside in the summer heat. The gas chamber was supposed to teach you that the gas masked worked.

I would have taken their word for it. Then again we again learned the usefulness of the mask while using the big shit houses (latrine in army speak) they had out in the woods. This by the way, was the only time I actually liked wearing the mask.

Gas can be very entertaining AND a great learning tool.

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