A Reflective Look Back

Well, it has been 2 years. I guess time flies, when you're having fun. I went back, and looked at some of the things I wrote 2 years ago. What is clear is the pre-stroke post-stroke difference. At first I wanted to go back and fix all the misspellings and write in complete sentences, but that will forever show what happened to me, so I decided to leave it.

It was a very long recovery, I'm still finding that things I did 6-9 months ago were crazy. But I'm always improving, and I can say that is good news. I'm lucky, one of the luckiest bastards I know. I have a wife that loves me, three beautiful daughters, both of my parents are still alive, and I have a job. Those are all good things. I have friends... some in high, and not so high places. I still have my two dogs and my (really my wife's) cat... who will outlive us all it seems.

I'm a happy guy, and I never want to take that for granted. I know, that when I started this blog there was a bit more "piss and vinegar" to what I was saying, what I was doing, and what I was thinking. I'm not sure whether I could have held anyone's feet to the flames if I wouldn't have had the stroke, but since then, well it is all kind of moot now isn't it?

I don't care if the school board, or mayor/city council, or newspaper is fucking up. Because they probably are, and there is nothing much I can do about it anyway. I choose my battles much more carefully now, than I did 2 years ago, when I would go full bore and not really care about anything but the truth.

I don't want to say I've lost the will to fight, but maybe I have. I cannot fight in those battles anymore, because even if I win, what do I really win? ... Yeah, nothing. I would love to take it back and be the man I was two years ago, still waiting for that time machine, I don't think it is coming. Even now I'm thinking about closing up shop over at the BlogJam, because no one there is writing anything... except me, and I already have this blog to keep humming along. Humming, humming, humming along...

Working on the Tan

New John Mayer

So John Mayer released another album. So far, I like this song best.



This whole album is kind of melancholy. I want to slap the man and tell him to straighten up, 1000 more fish in sea, just get another woman... ah, love, what can you do? Just wait, that is about it. Maybe that should be a song title on his next album.

I Endorse... Fatherhood

It is a nice feeling, being a dad. What I'm saying is, since my wife was put on bed rest and now with having to care for the baby, I have taken up the role of bringing my 3-year-old (the songbird... a new name, because she is always singing) to daycare.

Now I did not like this, or want this... It was out of my way to work, adding 30 minutes to my trip (one way), plus I'm really not a "morning person". Turns out that neither is the songbird. So we have two people that hate mornings together in the mornings. Sounds like Broadway's next hit.

Anyway I'm resigned to facts. That I will take my daughter to "school" until the new year. And that is ok, I mean nobody is going to give me a fat check or an award, but we for the most part got down to a routine, that works for everyone. So on one particular morning, one where we are early, which is not very often, I pull into the drop-off area and we have 5 minutes to kill.

So I turn on the CD player, take the songbird in my lap, and just jam. She shows me her moves, I show her mine, and we are for the most part inside a moment that will soon end, but for that brief moment there is nothing else that matters. Not work, not school, not sisters, or mothers or anything else. Just us, jamming out to one song. That is why I love being a dad.

Look at Me... I'm Riding a Motorbike!!!

So we went to Beaufort, ate at Plum's (my wife's favorite), and then went to Wal-Mart, because the selection over there is not at all like it is over here. I can't figure that one out, but I don't try anymore and that isn't what I really want to talk about.

This guy, on a motorcycle, like mirrored me the whole way home. It didn't matter if I was going 45 or 70, this person stayed right in my blind spot. From Beaufort to Bluffton... he stayed there. And it wasn't like he had cruise control, because I tried to go way to slow or way too fast, he just liked me. Like really, really liked me. I was just happy when we got to a place where we could turn off and be rid of him. He was even doing some tricks. My guess is he wanted somebody to see, and since we were going the same direction, why not me?

Dumb luck I guess.

The End

Maybe I'm just being a little off right now, or maybe not, but I may decide to go ahead and put a end to the BlogJam... Why? If you look around, nobody is blogging. That is crazy. I know it is a funny time of year, there are all kinds of reasons for it, there is shopping, and Christmas trees and dinner to cook and you have to work and I'm sure 1000 other things that I have not listed.

Having nothing to say should never be one of them. Blog about how you don't like dirty dishes, or how you do like babies, or vice-versa. What I'm trying to say is there is a litany of things one could write about. How you choose to write about it is the difference between "I walked down the hall" and "I journeyed through the vestibule dimly lit by the night light". What I am trying to say is, you might not think it is all that special, but you can make it special, depending on how you write it.

Some of you are busy, I understand this. But then again, it has been months since I've seen anything from you. My very, very loose requirements are, post once a month, if you can't find the time to do that, well then so long. I mean, if you are having some kind of "thing" and you plan on posting more.... later on then drop me a line hatterlives@hotmail.com.

I am always looking for new members, new ideas, new anything. So far, I've got very little to show for it. Please prove me wrong, this blog, there goes the neighborhood, will always be open... I think. But I fear the days of the BlogJam are numbered. I hope I am wrong, but you just never know...

No Movie... No Nothing

In light and respect for everything shopping... there is no movie or anything else. I'm sure you understand that more likely than not I'm in a turkey-coma right now, and you should be in one to. :o)