I went to the dentist this week. Not exactly earth shattering news, but put this is the frame of 6 months ago... just got out of the hospital, couldn't hardly feed myself, was basically a mess, it is good news. I mean as far as that goes... There still isn't really a good reason to go to the dentist.
I was scheduled to get a cleaning, which is pretty ordinary stuff, not six months ago... hell I couldn't even drive... yet. I remember feeling like a complete failure. Is that true? No of course not, but that's the way I felt. I broke down in the dentist chair, then not now, and really probably should have put off the appointment by a couple of months. But I didn't, and I got through it, even though I thought it was the end of the world.
The fear then is the same as it is now. It's not that somebody would say or do anything; I just want everything back to normal. No special treatment, no kid gloves and yet no talking about me after the fact. Is that realistic? No, not really. I thought that in six months I could beat this thing into submission, you know the comeback kid as it were... good for Hollywood, but again not very realistic. Still, back then I looked and sounded like a retard. Nothing against retards really, but that's what I sounded like. My not quite 2-year-old could eat her dinner with more poise and dignity than I could. And my poor wife was cleaning up both of us.
I’m not well yet, and I probably never will be, but am I better that I was six months ago, before I could tie my shoes, or hold a fork, or simply bounce a ball with my right hand? Yes, and for that I am thankful. No, I won’t be the same but I will be better, at least for a while longer.