Life is...

My thoughts are still with my father, because I guess I can't really be close him (800-900 miles separate us) and I wouldn't even know what to say if I did live closer. I've been thinking about fathers in general, and of course the two that come to mind are my grandfathers though I never met them.

On my mom's side he's a business man, a navy warrant officer, and according to my mother her buddy. He died when my mom was 8. From a stroke. Yeah I know, I just had one of them but my mother claims it was a WWII injury that spawned it. He was an orphan... as was my grandmother they grew up in hard times. That's one thing that has never changed. Life is hard.

On my dad's side it was a completely different story. My grandfather was an alcoholic and a bit of an abuser. But he was still loved. He also died from a stroke. But it was from all the drinking. He passed when my dad was 19. Still young to lose a father.

So both my parents had a dad that they lost too soon, both died of a stroke (not related to me... hopefully) and most of all both were loved (both liked to fish too). I know it sounds cliché and I already said it once, but life is, really really really hard. Which of course raises the question... why are we even here? Some might like to rationalize or romanticize a person was put on this earth to accomplish a task or do something. It makes a good headline, but everybody can't be a headline. Maybe you can make something happen, but was that your destiny? I don't think so.

Now the only way to answer these sorts of questions is to die, not something I'm in a hurry to do. Or maybe we really should live vicariously though our kids. Nah, that's to much work. I suppose I will keep doing what I always do, love the people I love, try not to hate too many people... even if that guy in the SUV cut me off, and do my best, be it at work or home. I hope I don't lose my dad, but I know that sometime I will. Today is his birthday, and though he doesn't even know what a blog is, happy birthday dad!