I Almost Died

It was on Christmas Eve and we were busy doing elf work... I trudged outside for like the hundredth time or whatever and I felt what I thought was a rock in my shoe. I went inside after I got whatever and took my shoe off to see what it was (it was actually a slipper).

And that's when I see the spider come out of my shoe. I kind of scream like a girl, not because I was afraid of the spider but because it was so close to me... Anyway my wife says "kill it". And this is a woman that pretty much takes everything she finds and sets it free, but this one time she said "kill it", and I did. See here:


And so I flattened it, with the same shoe it was living in. I feel bad about it, but at the same time I think the spider should have known better. I mean really, what did he think would happen from him holed up in my shoe? He never bit me, but he got squished all the same... little bastard, scaring the bejesus outa me....