Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Anti-Depresant

I have had the unluckiest of unluckiness lately. Basically I'm coming off a cold, which is rare for me... especially since I've become a diabetic and a stroke victim... all that ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure stuff, and I'm getting another cold, or at least a piece of one. Not good. I'm also coming off the Lexapro. I've been wanting to do this for some time, but the holidays and the time needed to adjust etc, etc it just was possible until now. So I'm trying to come off some medicine and recover from a cold.

The Lexapro definitely has "something" in it. Because I walk around thinking my wife is mad at me for stupid reasons. Plus there is some kind of shock thing going on (like a buzzing in my head), and I have tried to ween myself off of it, it's the same either way. I am ready to come off of this though, I just need a little more time to adjust. But it's weird how a little pill, cut in half at that, can make such a difference. I think the world seems much darker now. But I still think that I'm better off without it, than to become a slave to it. I can say that even though I'm a slave to other drugs like high blood pressure and cholesterol, because of the stroke... for life. That seems kind of crazy. I know, why don't you just take the Lexapro and be done with it?

Because of what the drug does to your head. Pretty much. Maybe I'll fail, and I'll be forced to go back onto it again. But the buzzy feeling I have because of serotonin releasing or whatever is not good at all. If I stopped taking my other meds I would not have such adverse side effects.

I love google, looking up "stop taking Lexapro" and I see I'm not alone. Nobody asks "What happens when/if I stop taking _____". And the doctors don't really know anyway. I say all this not to tell anyone "Hey, look at me, I did/didn't do it". I really just need this so that I have a place were I can look back to as to gauge my progress and maybe tell others if they are looking at taking Lexapro, to look further and ask about what happens after. Nobody ever thinks about it.

That's all I'm saying, and I don't think Lexapro or any other "anti-psychotic"or "antidepressant" is meant to be permanent.

1 comment:

Aunt Bea said...

Good on yuh!
And good luck...
In the 70's they put me on Librium because they said I was depressed. When I got rid of my abusive husband - taaa daaaa! I stopped being depressed - but I got myself off of the Librium 'way before then. When I was on that stuff, you could pick me up and throw me against a wall - it was done - and I wouldn't...care....

Later another doc tried to prescribe anti-depressants for me. I took them for three months but couldn't stand them. My Dad finally told me - "Look, you're Irish - it is our nature to have black moods. Deal with it and get over it!" He was right. Now when I get depressed, I have a "ME day" and spoil myself rotten. I made up my mind simply that I would FEEL that way - until I didn't, any more.

Pills don't make life any better. They might clear up an infection or stomp a headache or ease a muscle strain - but you can't live on them. Lifestyle instead of drugstore. GO MH!!!