Another Look Back

I'm still dealing with my stroke, it's something that becomes integral to just being alive I guess. It's the tiny things now. It used to be much larger items and activities, like can I use my hand to eat (without making a mess) or can I walk, then it moved to finer more dexterous things,.Can I write, can I type on the keyboard, can I drive and listen to the radio at the same time, that sort of thing.

Now I'm on to things nobody would notice, unless I told them, but that doesn't mean they aren't there. Not that I'm complaining or that anybody has treated me wrongly, because they haven't and I'm not (complaining). But there are times when I feel like I'm in somebody else's skin, or just plain feel stupid. I wonder if I'm limping a little? Is my face drooping? Will I say the right things when/if somebody asks me a question? Does anyone see me writing things down... and how horrible my handwriting is?

I know that unless a person knows that I've had a stroke, they won't notice anything, and even then they likely won't notice because they have their own life to keep up with, and even then on top of that, they would have to compare me now to the old me. So yes I know it is highly unlikely that anyone will notice. But I wonder/worry anyway.

Maybe it is just me or maybe I'm a little conceited. I don't know. All I do know is it will be harder/different to move on and to put what's happened to me in the past. But then again we need to look at ourselves in the past to gauge how far we have come in the present.