Deese Nuts, They Be Chillin'

I want to tell you about my recent experience, but I am somewhat hesitant because I don't want anyone thinking I'm a freak or anything. I'm a cosmopolitan, or at least think I am. I like the finer things in life, if you know what I mean. I saw the ads for Nivea shower gels, they are not to perfumey and moisturize your skin and I thought, "That's for me." So I got some, sort of...

They had two kinds at the store, and I picked up the "cool" one, because, I really don't know why, but that is the one I went with. It is cool because it has menthol in it, you know like Vick's Vap-o-rub or a pack of Salem's. And me being the adventurist I thought that it couldn't hurt right?

So the next time I take a shower I try out this mentholated shower gel. Well, this is where it gets interesting. First off I'd like to say that the shower gel does what I want to, get's me clean, isn't too perfumey, and yes moisturizes. But the whole menthol thing? Completely unnecessary.

You have to work pretty hard to get a lather built up, that I can take or leave, it would be nice if it would lather up easier, but hey, we all want something. After I built up a lather and scrubbed in the way that most people do (head, body, arms, legs, then the unmentionables). And everything up to this point is working fine, but I can feel the menthol and the "cool" feeling that it gives.

But it was pretty faint, I mean, it wasn't like eating a peppermint patty or anything. That is, until I got to the unmentionables. I do not suffer from neuropathy but I know what it is, and I so do not have it. So I get out of the shower, and the menthol is still with me, in and around my nuts.

Why would anyone do anything as masochistic as to put some Vick's on 'your boys'? I guess it really takes all kinds. I personally don't find it too cleansing, I guess, if you happen to be in a hot desert or maybe a tropical environment, maybe cold balls would be right up your alley. Me? I could do without.

I know, I know... I picked that one, I bought it, really I brought this all on myself. I take full responsibility. Other than your nuts being in the freezer, it really does what it says, and what I want. I just don't know if I'm willing to put up with that feeling to get it.