The Fat Guy's Wish

The diabetes thing is getting to me. I've gained weight, and been eating things I shouldn't, not crazy really, I don't think so anyway. I'm not eating a dozen doughnuts at one sitting or anything like that. It has been a slow weight gain. Plus sympathy weight gain for the wife being pregnant. I'm fat, I admit it. Well not really. I'm not real fat, just around my belly.

So anyway, the diabetes thing, it is out of control... For me it is I think. Blood sugars in the 300's are no good for anyone. I can't really figure out what is wrong, other than drop a few pounds and get a little healthier. But my problem is more than that, but I don't know who I can talk to about it. The endocrinologist will say, get on the pump... I don't have the $5,000 it costs to do that, plus I think it is weird that every person in that doctor's office is on the insulin pump.

And that still doesn't really tell me why my body is acting this way. Is it processed food? Is it because I'm fat? Is it some food allergy? Is it something I haven't thought of yet? In a few weeks, my body will adjust, and the diabetes won't be such a big negative. But I keep thinking of that night when the EMS read a blood sugar of 17. I don't want to change like that ever again, because we are convinced that had something to do with my stroke.

So I have to walk this tightrope of don't go too high, or too low because something bad will happen. But I really just wish, that a doctor could tell me what's going on with my body, and I believe him/her. It hasn't happened yet.