Don't Be a Mikey

I have this feeling about my daughter... the teenager... that is probably not helpful to her or me. She has become the "Mikey" of our family. if you've never watched American Chopper then you may not know who Mikey is, but basically he is the slacker, the guy who makes funny jokes but never really gets anything done. The teenager is my Mikey, fun to have around, but doesn't really do much of anything.

Now she can step up. I'm not saying she can't, and she has when we were in our darkest hour, but it is the everyday that leaves me wondering. She makes me laugh, repeatedly and often. I like that, but we can't always laugh together... not when there is other things that need to be done. But I don't know how to get us from the laughing and having a good time to the serious. That is the problem and that is my fault.

I have a special connection with the teenager. I had her... early in life, with a different woman, and so she is a bit left out. So I treat her a bit differently, well maybe, no two kids are the same. So whether or not I treat my kids the same is kind of a straw man argument. One kid is more deviant than the others, one kid is a goody two shoes, what works for one may not work for the other. Then there is the age difference thing.

I was the oldest of my mother's 5 kids. I had to carry a pretty heavy load. She expected the absolute best from me, and backed that up with the high cost of tuition for my private schooling. My siblings? It started out like me... sorta' but it ended very different. Only one kid is on her own, my eldest little sister, and she isn't really on her own, she did take over payments on my mom's house, but I don't know if it is a full payment or not. The rest of the kids either still live with her or off of her. And they had that same laugh with your parents kind of feeling.

I don't want that to happen with me and my teenager. I think I need to sign her up with the Army now lol. Ok probably not. I know I went into the army, and there was conflict going on when I joined, but not like they have now. But still I had to tell both of my parents I was ok for the duration of me being in army. I love my daughter, I love all of my daughters. I just don't want to keep them so close that I wind up paying for their everything, and I don't want to drive them off either. So what to do? I guess I have to find that happy medium, between serious and funny. I have yet to find it, but I am looking...