The Mother of Vacations

Way back when... something like 1981 or `82... My mother went on a road trip, all the way from New Orleans to San Diego. Quite a trip in those days, I pause to think about it even today. So why were we going to San Diego? To pick up my step-father, who had joined the Navy and then decided that he didn't want to be in the Navy anymore. He lasted maybe 2-3 weeks. But anyway, we got one hell of a road trip out of the deal.

We packed our Datsun B210 hatchback, which was an upgrade from the `70's Volkswagen Beetle we used to run around town in... literally, jammed it full of things: ice chest, blankets, suitcases... we looked like the Clampetts or at least felt like them. It was a completely different time than what we find today. I had to hide in the car every time we stopped for the night, because my mother was afraid of being charged more for one adult and child, versus just for an adult. I might have been forced to wait in the car needlessly, but seriously, I was sweating my ass off, I don't want that to be for nothing.

We took I-10 pretty much the whole way. It was a long slough, especially Texas. I mean it just keeps going and going and going and going again. It makes you appreciate just how big Texas is if nothing else. Getting into New Mexico and Arizona (my mother has a brother that lives in Phoenix) breaks up the monotony, and the scenery changes a bit from scrub-land to a more cactus like desert. Neither of which you would want to be broke down in, but still. We saw my uncle who was really cool, but that was the only time I have ever seen him... his wife is crazy, even he admits it (she is a Jesus freak...) . So from Phoenix, San Diego is just a hop, skip, and jump away... Although really, who would have thunk it that a boy from the westbank of New Orleans would have ever had this opportunity, I certainly didn't.

We pick up my step-dad and then continue on to see some sights. We went to the San Diego Zoo, up the coast to Universal Hollywood and took a tour, we also went to Disneyland (and at that time I was not impressed... Many rides were out of commission I don't think the early 80's were a good time for Disney) and then up to San Francisco with finishing California off by camping in Yosemite... and nearly being eaten by a bear... Why? Because we were stupid, I think I can look back at my life and you know the things that common sense tells you to do, and somehow you do otherwise and you live anyway? Yeah that is me.

The rest of the trip is sort of a blur. We did stop at Hoover Dam, which was and is pretty cool. I think we did more driving in less time, with 2 adults now able to swap off driving duty. And plus I never liked my step-dad much. He was an abusive alcoholic, and you really never knew what kind of mood he was going to be in. Maybe everything was fine, maybe the next seconds he was getting a blow torch and threatening to burn everything in your room if you didn't clean it up (in his defense, my room was chronically messy) but I did enjoy my road trip with my mom, and it was to be the only one I would take, before my younger sisters and brother came along.

Still an incredible journey. One I think back on every time I plan to go on a trip and to think if I would have stayed home with my dad, and went to school, well I wouldn't have had nearly as much fun or life experiences. So my recommendation to any who come upon the option to take a trip or not... go ahead and take the trip. It could be the worst thing you ever did, it might be the best, but either way it will make memories. Me and my mom joke about it to this day.

More Stupid Things

I was talking over with the wife about stupid things you did as a kid... And I remembered even more. They may not rank as high, but they are fairly stupid. I don't know how/why I did them, but anyway...

I once, in the 3rd grade, stapled my thumb. It was not an accident. I didn't think a stapler would go through my nail. I was wrong. So very wrong. I thought my thumb nail was harder than it really is... If you have to do it for yourself, go ahead, but I can honestly say, it isn't worth it, the stapler will win.

I almost killed my father while trawling in Port Sulfur. Why? Well I love my father, and I would never do anything to hurt him, but I almost did. Basically he was at the back of the boat, working with the trawl. I was back at the steering wheel/throttle control (about mid boat). we was working the trawl and I was just killing time, the wind started blowing us off course, I kept telling my father that I was going to give the boat a bit of gas to put us back on course. He told me not to worry about that. I worried, gave it a bit of gas, which made my dad unsteady and almost fall into the trawl. Thankfully he caught himself, and I didn't worry about it any more.

My bother did even sillier things, you know, went for a joy ride in my father's car, without dad knowing about it, shot out lights, windows, Christmas lights, people with his BB gun, set a 6ft privacy fence on fire... if I was a little bit of trouble he was trouble by the truckload. My wife's brother was also trouble, he painted or marker-ed all of her Barbie dolls black... every last one of them. He also got into trouble with his BB gun by shooting the pool, thus breaking the liner, and ruining the pool.

She also told me (After having some time to think about it) a story of her and her bother playing in the attached garage, her brother totally bluffed my wife (who was older... just so you know) into thinking she was stuck inside. Her brother closed the garage and ran away saying "haha... you are stuck in here." And she completely fell for it. So much so that she broke a window to yell for help. Yeah, she could have opened the door, but she was a very "goody two shoes" kind of girl, and being trapped horrified her. And she did what she did. But really, she still can blame her brother.

So does this mean males are prone to more risky events? I don't know, but from my not very scientific cross-section it would seem that way, but I have 6 sisters, and I know they can start trouble too. But with all those sisters, their problems could all be traced back to a boy... so I wonder.

The Stupid Things We All Do as Kids

Why am I broaching this subject? Well because it was pushed onto me by Augustus drinking milk, from last night, which was likely a little old... sitting out all night. It wasn't her fault, the milk belonged to the Songbird, so you could blame her, but it was the teenager's job to clean up, so you could blame her too. Basically Augustus found a drink and decided to partake... except it was a cup with no lid, and of old milk, it went all over her shirt. My wife was just about to leave. This sort of thing happens way more than we want it to, but what are you going to do?

So I start thinking, what was the stupidest thing you did as a kid? Me... It would have to be a tie between getting my... junk caught in a Foosball table... and wrecking my car, putting my head through a windshield, breaking my jaw, and losing a tooth... Yep, hey I said stupid, and I have to think that both rank high on the list.

My brother was always bringing home junk. He and his friends would bring home toys, swimming pools, a Foosball table, pretty much any and all things "interesting" that others would toss. It was junk, the people who owned it threw it away, but my brother thought it was gold. Anyway I was about 7 or 8 which would make my brother 12 or 13. The thing was not really stable, and it would tip and come apart in places, especially when you had active boys playing a game on it. I was simply watching, I leaned on the table, or right next to it, and it pinched my junk.

It looked and sounded a lot worse to me, because I was the one getting pinched I guess. I never went around that thing or anything else my brother dragged out of the garbage again. I guess that was more of a wrong place at the wrong time sort of thing, but I should have known better than trust something my brother got out of one of his dumpster diving expeditions. Now that I think about it, my father got off cheap, we didn't have much for entertainment... ah well.

Now the wrecking of my car... was totally my fault, and I'm still living with the repercussions of that retarded act. I didn't even have my license yet. I was getting it, that weekend, but that all got seriously messed up. I lived on a dirt road and when you live on a dirt road it gets washed out in places at times. I hit that and you get the feeling of loss of control, I thought it was cool, I stepped on the gas (I was just driving to the highway, turning around and coming home). So how did that work out? Not very good. I should have slowed down, but since I knew how to drive (NOT) I wrecked into a tree instead. I was driving a 1980 Dodge D-50. Standard shift. Yeah, not a car you want to get into washboards with.

I bit my bottom lip as my head went through the windshield (yep, no seat belt either). It took me sticking my hand up there and pulling it back right again. I didn't bite it completely (thank god) but I also spit a tooth out. I was a tad bit overcrowded on my jaw anyway. I did all this in the seconds after the wreck happened. There was the shock of all my teeth on the bottom being pushed so out of whack I needed oral surgery and oh year, my jaw was broken.

As you can see from the picture, I looked a bit drugged, I'm also rocking with a mullet. What can I say? You can, if you look closely at my chin, see some stitches. I was so out of it, but I think that was good for me. The surgeon did a wonderful job. I could not close my mouth, and thought that I would lose the entire front bottom teeth. The only one I lost was the one that popped out on impact (whole tooth came out). So from a money stand point, it was definitely the costliest mistake I ever made.

I still need a root canal in one of those bottom teeth, it doesn't bother me, no discoloration, no nothing but they tell me each time I go to the dentist. Still a very stupid, completely avoidable, extremely bone headed thing I did. I find I'm still apologizing for this to my parents 20 years later... not that either is looking for an apology, I just feel so bad that I did it. And as for the license? I got a 6 month delay on that.

Our children are a warning, that we too, had to be watched at every turn. The teenager has done it to me. She stuck a tissue, or a piece of balled up tissue so far up her nose (she was 4 when this happened), it would not come back out again. And it wasn't the first time it happened either (3 different times, some people need remedial training). Lucky for her I work in the medical field, have access to tools, to dig that thing back out. But why do we do it? I can only guess it is because we learn best when we screw up, and the bigger the screw-up, the bigger/more important the lesson learned.Maybe...

Sausage Balls

Sausage Balls are something so good, so delicious, I find myself stumped as to why they only appear this time of year. And you want to know a secret? I have not had these sausagey, cheesey, balls of goodness until I moved to South Carolina 10 years ago. Also you can make all kinds of witty or sarcastic sayings when you talk about making, eating, or anything else... because "balls" are in the name and when you add "sausage" well then it kicks the sexual innuendo into over-drive.

You need:
1 pound of Sausage the one pictured is a hot sausage from the Pig.
1 pound of finely shredded Cheese
1 1/2 to 2 cups of Bisquick

You mix the three together and form into balls, where you bake at 350 for 10 minutes. (You can flip them over and let the other side brown up too if you like for another 5-10 min.)

Then you enjoy your creation. Which is to say, at my house anyway, they don't last long at all. But all my kids are a slave to anything sausage. If it has sausage in it, then it must be ingested, over and over and over again... until it is gone.I mean, I made this with a spicy sausage and the Songbird and the teenager, ate this... and the don't usually like hot or spicy things. Make some, before I buy up all the sausage, Bisquick, and cheese!

Haunted House

You know back when I was a kid, me and my brother and a bunch of neighborhood kids used to gather together and make a haunted house for Halloween. It got more and more elaborate each year, and we all split the money we made off doing it. Which was never much, like $5 was the most I ever took home. But it was fun, well it started out fun and then it would always end badly. Why? Well you see my father lived in a not so good part of town. It was a suburb of New Orleans, and in case you didn't notice, New Orleans is a crime-ridden city.

So anyway we had a kind of segregated community. Black folks lived over here, white folks over there, Vietnamese somewhere different. It was the way it was. Well my dad lived right on the edge of where all the black folks lived. Which didn't bother us none... except for a few miscreant youths that kind of ruined things now and then. So word got out pretty quick, about how these kids got a haunted house, and all the kids should come by and get scared for the price or 25 or 50 cents. Which was good... if you are the enterprising type. But they are also some more thuggish people out there.

Well that is when my father and my older sisters' boyfriends' and my uncle showed up, to protect us. Now this whole thing could appear racist and maybe it was, but at least for me, it was just a chance to have a haunted house and fun. But you will always have some that will try to take that away from you, and yet more try to protect you, and of course someone out to protect the "thugs" and on and on.

So every year, we would have a big fight, with people getting punched or kicked or smacked with some kind of foreign object until my dad showed up with a gun... Yeah that's right. My dad was old school, and he truly didn't care. Now he fired the gun into the air, never at anyone (that I know of) and that was enough to make everyone calm down.

Odds are that he was high as a kite when he did this (because he liked to smoke a lot of weed), but still it seemed to be his "make everyone shut up and go home" tool of choice. I don't think that would go over very well these days, but you never can tell. The cops got to know my dad, he never was arrested, and we eventually moved out of the city. But I can still vividly remember those days, the building with cardboard and visqueen crisscrossing the backyard. One year I was a mummy and we had a set up where I was in a "coffin" (made of cardboard) and I got to scare the bejesus out of everyone. Another year I was a gorilla/monster and I would swing on our big willow tree, not so scary but fun all the same.

I don't get why we couldn't just have the haunted house, without the people to get in a fight with near the end (because when those type of people came, my uncle would tell all the haunted house occupants to go home and announce to the rest "The haunted house is closed") while my dad got his gun and the older boys would fight. All for what? Free admission to the haunted house? Seriously that is what they would say. Maybe too much testosterone came with the costumes. But still I can remember part of the night anyway.

These days there is no friction, no neighborhoods like they had in New Orleans, no racial tension, and no haunted house. Seems more fun when we did have it all.

So Where am I Going?

Well I am going down south, to see my father, siblings, cousins and whatnot. I am also on a foodie mission. I will go get me some beignets, I will eat some Hubigs pies, I will go to Panchos and eat till I pop and raise the flag one more time. I most certainly will get me some crawfish, and I hope to have me a po boy or three.

I want to show my wife where I grew up, or what is left of it. I want to visit my grandmother's grave (on my mother's side). I want to "do the zoo" and the aquarium too. I would love to go back to Charlie's steak house and get a good steak, but it has new owners since Katrina, it may not be the same. I would love to find the "tamale man" on the corner and buy a few dozen hot tamales. I think my thoughts are bigger than my stomach, but still. Most of all I will sit and have a beer with my dad, shoot the shit, and remember all the good times we had. Before hurricanes and oil spills ruined what we had.

O Brother, How Funny Art Thou

Why does my brother make me laugh hysterically? I mean when he was 2 and it was my oldest little sister's birthday... we went to Panchos. It is a good, cheap, all you can eat place, with good food and sopapillas to die for, anyhow, we loaded up and went. Well my brother has always been shall we say "eccentric"? You see if they know it is your birthday Panchos will take a picture of you with a huge sombrero on you head.

We weren't leaving without the picture. No way in hell. My family likes public embarrassment. So what does this have to do with my brother? Well you see all this time while we were worried about my sister and wishing her a happy birthday, my brother (two-years-old) has taken off his shirt and is dancing to the happy birthday song, that is not quite it, he is dancing, with his finger jammed up to the second knuckle, in his nose... and he can be seen in my sister's happy birthday picture. It may not be the fist ever photobomb, but it is one I will take with me to the grave. I cannot find the actual picture right now, but Never fear, I am tearing up the place looking for it...

My mother has hundreds more stories like this, most of them involve some kind of public humiliation. What can I say? All it takes for a rise in the family is a little mortification. Fall on your face? Perhaps your shoes got misplaced and someone nailed them to the wall (yes it happened to me, and it is a funny story that lives on)? Maybe you accidentally crap your pants. Yep, this is the cause for endless laughter (hell, I can barely type right now for laughing). But it is more than humiliation... the person that is suffering indignity has to acknowledge that it is pretty funny... and it usually grows in humorousness with time. So it is not like we are laughing right when it is happening (mostly).

And what causes the funniness to grow even more? My wife. She looks at me like I am crazy and doesn't understand why I think something is so funny, which only makes me laugh all the harder. Maybe one day she'll get it, or perhaps not. Good thing for her I love her anyway. :o)

Where Would You Go?

So it comes every year, right about this time... that I grow tired off the cold and start day dreaming of summer. Yes I know, it will be in the 60's, and I know we have some "cold" left to go, and I know it does not really get that cold here anyway, but I want to be warm (never-mind the mosquitoes and grass cutting). I start thinking of the warm places I know, that aren't very warm now... but it is my vacation/day dream.

You know, like Florida, that is suffering from the same cold weather that we have, so that is out. What about a cruise? Ah yes, surely they are warm, yes slip away into the not caring of the Caribbean. I don't have any money though, so I wonder... where else could I find warm? Inside a broken refrigerator? At a local area sweat shop? Perhaps in my own house in a hot bath?

I know when it gets here (the heat) I will likely be looking for somewhere cool to escape the heat. If only I cold bottle up today's cold temp and save it till July, if only. So where would you go... if money were no object? Ok now were would you go if money's tight? Would it be warm, cold, or both?

In about a month, I would go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. I haven't seen a real parade since childhood. But that is a hit or miss thing too. I want to go IF the weather is nice, not if it is raining and/or cold. Otherwise, maybe I'll look at Florida and see whenever it warms up, and visit the beach. The minimum temp is 80 though, so we have a ways to go...

Christmas Songs

So this month's writing assignment is pretty simple: pick out what songs, Christmas songs, are special to you, and post them. It could be a top ten, it could be embeddable (like I'm doing), you could sing your very own Christmas song if you like, though I doubt anybody will actually do that.

So here I go, mine is a list, but not really in any particular order, other then my family. I went around the house and asked what is your favorite Christmas song? Below are the answers I received.

1st I asked the songbird, (3-year-old) She said Jingle Bells, Why? Because she knew all the words, pretty much.



Next I asked the teenager. She said 'I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas'. Why? I have no clue...



Next it is the wife's turn, She said 'Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire' Why?
She said she just liked it. Also mentioned it had a simple message and smooth melody (after singing it for everyone to hear). So there you go.


Next there was me (the baby is too young and the dogs can't talk). I say 'It's The Holiday Season' for no other reason than it has that loopy "hoopdey do" in the song.



And finally there is this one... not a classic, or one that everyone knows the words to, or anything really, but it is kind of fun to see those people from long ago and look at them now (Boy George and George Michael come to mind)

Where You Goin'?

In my house, we have 4 people, and they each go somewhere different. The 14-year-old gets up first, and for all intents and purposes she is gone away at school, she also get's home first. My wife is the next one up, though not while she is on bed rest... so that means I get up next. I start my day with taking my meds so we don't have to endure another stroke, everyday, I never miss them, and next participate in the three "S's" (it's an army term, two of the three is shower and shave, I'll let you figure out what that other one is).

And then I go rouse my 3-year-old, or maybe my wife does, (she is not supposed to, but you learn to pick your battles) and we get ready, you know get dressed, brush hair, put shoes on, that kind of thing. God, I miss my wife, as she used o do all of that. And then we head down stairs, get our lunches/breakfasts and head out the door. Which leaves my wife, at home, lonely I know, but that is life on bed rest.

So at this point we all are at our different places and when it comes time to go home, the 14-year-old makes it in first, (technically my wife never left, but anyway) and then me and my 3-year-old. And we all come together for the family dinner. I mean, if I think about it, that is pretty amazing. We always have at least one meal together, and more often than not, it is dinner (who can get up early enough to do breakfast on a week day?)

So I'm wondering, am I strange, or do other people do this too? Or is it something completely different? Tell me and let me know.

Guilty Pleasure = Travian

My guilty pleasure is playing Travian internet game. It is a really drawn out and long process... and takes months before you can do anything, but for some unknown reason, I can't stop playing it. You start out as one of three races, Roman, Teuton, or Gaul. After that you pick a spot for your city and begin to build it up. This is a war game, so with that being said your or others feeling are going to be hurt from time to time.

That is why it is good to make friends with you neighbors, otherwise you'll have lots of uninvited company over all the time. So why bother, I mean what is this all for? I'm really not sure, I guess I could walk away from it, but I don't want to. Of course eventually it will end, as it has to. You amass the right armies and equipment and whatever, and then the powers that be will provide their own armies and you have to fight it out to see if you can win.

Now I am far, far away from all of that... in fact I'm just now getting over my 3rd or 4th wipe out because it just kind of goes like that. You build up you resources, wheat, lumber, iron, and clay while making your army bigger and eventually you get some other like minded individuals and form an alliance. From there on it is really up to you. Conquer or be conquered so to speak. I have heard of people just getting on it to be "farms" to other more powerful players, I can't imagine why though.

Yes it really is a guilty pleasure. I really can't justify it, but I keep coming back to it. So there must be something about it.

Lake Warren Trip

So where the hell is Lake Warren, and why did you go there? Well, I don't know why, but the state park is just south of Hampton. It really doesn't offer much, unless people scare you. Then this place is right up your alley. Plus, sometimes the journey is better than the destination. I took the long way home (instead of I-95) and went through Estill, and other smaller towns down Highway 321.

Here is a big pine... X2

This is the "coast" of Lake Warren... kind of mossy

I saw ferns too...

In various stages of growth.

If you go, this .3 mile trail is much more satisfying than the 1 mile trail to nowhere.

Trail... To Nowhere.

We saw this, I thought we were inside the park, but maybe not.

This is where Lake Warren ends.

A "sea of green"

This is in Estill, I guess it is grandfathered in that whole no tobacco ads?

Here is the water tower of Estill. Which was probably worth the whole trip.

Sunday... Not the Time to Go Do Anything in Charleston

I like the place. I mean I really really do, but nothing opens up for business until 12 or 1pm. Well heck I really didn't want to be hanging around or at least I thought we would be heading back no later than 3... it presents a conundrum.

Originally we were gonna stop by Angel Oak in the am, have some lunch with friends, then walk around the city until my youngest couldn't take it anymore. But right from the start we should have known. The weather was crap. I mean it was bad. Not raining, but it might as well have been.

A very gray day.

This is the angel oak...

...from outside the fence.

Here is some barbed wire that has been swallowed by another tree.

On to the Buccaneer Restaurant...

This cannon, looks intricate... to blow your head off.


Finally, we arrive at market street. This is the back

and this is the front. Notice the sky? It was not like that for long.


And this is just one of dozens of church steeples.

And finally, a fountain, who doesn't like a fountain?

This was One of 'Those' Weekends

The one where you understand the reason why you live here in the first place. Gorgeous weather, no bugs, a day that you have no problem staying outside all day. I took advantage of this great weather and re-did all mulch in the front and back yards. The wife pruned every bush we had, and when it was all done, we simply kicked back and laid on the hammock for hours.

It was beautiful.

So the sick kid didn't ruin everything after all. Then Sunday came around...

We decided to spend our day at Hunting Island State Park.

Which, if you haven't been, is highly effected by beach erosion.

Like really, really...

effected.

It is also home of the maritime forest. A mix of palm, pine, and oaks...

It's also home to a lighthouse

That you can climb up (for $2)

It is a long way up.... seriously.

But the view, is worth $2, I think

To Savannah, The Historic District

So we went into Savannah this time. Though really my wife wanted to go to the Spring in the South craft show, and I tagged along taking my 13-year-old with me, because I'm just like that.

Ok so we started our journey here, that is on this side of the river, the actual Savannah side over there.

This is one of the ships coming into port, I tried to explain that the ships coming into New Orleans were even bigger, and more numerous, to my daughter, but you really can't explain anything to a 13-year-old, can you?

We crossed the river via the ferry that goes from the Westin to River street, in the background you can see the Talmadge Bridge.

This tree, on River street, looks to have needed some bracing. It didn't get any, but it seems healthy.

This is just parking between River and Bay streets.

Another view between the two streets.

Which brings us to this. Yes, be careful, there are stairs nearby...

I just like the way the oak tree seems 'twisted'... Plus, I cropped out a bum that was kind of funny, but anyway... you had to be there.

A fountain!


This was my attempt to mortally embarrass my daughter, she blocked my efforts.
You win this time pesky teenager...

So Savannah has these cross lights that talk to you. Telling you to "Wait" every 10 seconds or so

I'm sorry, what? Oh I can walk across the street now? Goodbye.


And finally, it is good to know that someone is looking after our soul, I mean really. Fighting for freedom? Thanks Jesus.

What's On Your Ipod

So I've been thinking about this blog post for some time. A member of the Blog Jam posed this question to me... and to everyone else, "What is on your Ipod?"

And so I am going to tell you. Well not go into everything because I have a 30 G hard drive, I only have it 1/4 full, and still, I could play it for two whole days, and not hear the same song twice. So I'm going to tell you what's in my top 5. Not even Top 5, just 5 that I happen to like at the time that I'm writing this.


Bush: "Swallowed"


This is an old one, I really don't like Bush much, but this song has something infectious about it. It's a "grunge" song, and I think it's talking about heroin, but I like this song.

Smashing Pumpkins: "GLOW"



Reportedly this song was made just for the Guitar Hero video game, I like it a lot.

Weezer: "Everybody Get Dangerous"


This is not the "official" video, but it really looks good, and ties in well with the footage, so there...

The Raconteurs: "Steady, As She Goes"


This is a kind of "Wacky Races", only its in real life... sorta'

Green Day: "Waiting"



I just like this song because the lead singer tells someone to "STFU", you have to like that. And this song has hope, and that is what we all need right now.