Monday, February 18, 2008

300 pound, Naked, Escaped Mental Lady

A little background on what makes me, me. First off I had to be told this story because I was simply to young to remember it. A newborn to be honest. My mother had me strapped into the car seat, which was not the safety minded things we have today, but anyway. She had me in the seat and she had to run to grandma's house to drop off papers for some real estate deal. So rather than go through the deal of unhooking the car seat, she left me in the car while she ran the papers inside.

Easy, quick, and there's nothing to worry about right? Not exactly. This was on Franklin Ave. which was about 5 or 6 blocks away from the biggest, baddest public housing project in New Orleans. And on this particular day, there was someone out. And not only that but this person was an escaped mental patient, a good 300 pounds, and oh yeah completely naked.

Yes, yours truly got up close and personal with this person, a woman, in fact she was trying to sit on me. Now at this time the story pretty much turns to laughter and I get a bit confused (because remember, I am too young to remember a black, 300 pound woman's ass crack ...naked) My mother screams when she comes back to the car, and my grandmother, well lets just say she wouldn't at all be welcome in today's society.

Through my mother's pleading and more likely than not my grandmother's posturing with a gun (not to mention rains of curses and racial slurs), they eventually got the woman off of me. It turns out that I was ok, no harm had come to me, but that was just the first of many run ins with the psychotic, stupid, or just plain death staring at me. And now you know too.


Alex said...

That sounds awful -- strapped into a chair, no escape, big person about to sit on you.

Although I bet there are some people out there who would pay good money for the privilege. :)

My naked story was also re-told to me because I was too young to remember. I was around 2, in an airport, and decided to take off all my clothes and run around. I found some sort of conference room with a meeting in progress. I ran in, screaming. My mom had to extract me (and never lets me hear the end of it).

Mad Hatter said...

Well at least you could move LOL. What's really funny is my mom hyperventilating (as she's known to do) while my grandmother acts like it's just another day in New Orleans.