Soccer Saturday (part 3 or 4) on Sunday

I can't remember and for one, the Songbird, things are zooming right along, wins, goals, stopping the ball when she plays defense or goalie. For the other... it is not so good. Losses, missed games, no goals... it is not doing so good. It is just the nature of the beast. When you are younger there are so many opportunities to do things. When you are older... it sort of evaporates. So anyway, we missed my teenager's game because we went running in a 5K at my wife and Songbird's school.


As usual that was an experience. Not really a good one, but not so bad after all. I was clocked at 51 minutes... which is never going to come close to the 15 minutes that real runners are doing. But I pretty much walked the whole thing, and I didn't feel bad at the end, I will call that a victory. That and I was pushing a stroller with an ornery kid in it. Not to mention the Songbird had no shoes (she ran the whole way in her Mary Jane's) and she really was not dressed for it (it was 57 when we started) so there were melt down times for both children. But we pulled through it. And then later that day Songbird scored a goal at her soccer game. I was impressed.

SOS

As if the whole new job thing wasn't enough drama, I am forced to deal with teen aged drama, which in my opinion is the absolute worst kind of drama there is. Because wherever that drama lies, more drama is bound to follow. This time (most times come to think of it) it is my wife's turn. Not that it is my wife's fault, because I hold her 100% harmless in this whole thing but she was the focus of my teenager's angst.


Why? Because she can get away with it more so than if she were to give it to me, because I will hurt her. It hasn't gotten to that point in years, and why is that? Because it does not feel very good. It hurts her physically. It hurts me psychologically. It hurts everyone. I don't want to do it, hell I try to avoid it at all costs... But I love my wife and I won't let stupid shit come between me and her.

Sometimes kids are just wrong. And when they are wrong, we as parents need to be there, show them how they are wrong, what they need to do to be right, and positively reinforce them to help so they don't screw-up again. Well most kids would do fine with that... but not all. Not mine. She suffers from SOS (stuck on stupid) and continues to make the same mistakes over and over and over. There is something pathological about it. And I don't have the cure. I don't think anyone does... Just wait, sit and wait.

Augustus...

This picture embodies everything about our littlest one. She looks a little mischievous, but sweet, you see her hair, she doesn't care about that. She can make your heart melt and piss you off the next minute, then make you laugh again. This one is going to be trouble.

Soccer Saturdays

Well over the weekend, we had two soccer games... and they were different in just about every way. The game my teenager was in was a cluster... They weren't a team, they were just a gaggle of girl flopping around on the field. It was a learning experience... well I hope so anyway. There was a few bright moments, few and far in-between, but at least there was something. Their coach said it best, now they know what they need to do to turn those weaknesses into strengths. I hope so. Score: 7 - 0.

Now I go to later in the day, and the Songbird in the morning was sick, and was really too sick to play, luckily with the power of medicine and a later game, she felt good enough... Now I asked her and my wife asked her, and we made it abundantly clear that if she didn't feel up to it, we would not go. But she was determined, we had to go. And she was a star. Score: 4 - 2. So opening day was a mixed bag, but I think we all win when we think about what happened. It is just a game after all...

Randoms

My kids are doing the things that kids do... grow up. In no child is that more apparent than the baby. Which really, she'll be 2 in October, but she has the benefit of being the youngest, so she'll always be my baby. Anyhow, she has a seat in the dining room, (no more highchairs) it is like a booster seat at a restaurant, except it it is secure in that it straps to the chair, she can't flip out of it. But what she can do is a "Dukes of Hazzard" climb out the side. It is funny. She can't push the chair once she is seated, so when she decides she is done, and nobody is paying attention, this is the way she bails.

The Songbird is growing her mind more than anything these days... she can sort of read... not really, but she knows some words. So each night we read 2 or 3 books and it is amazing how much she has progressed.

The teenager is struggling, maybe not so much struggling as she is coming to grips with the real world of high school work, honors/AP work at that. And this year both the teenager and Songbird have soccer practice. That means my Saturdays are a wash, and two week days are long. That's ok, but man I miss having nothing to do.

Back to the little one, we went to Jekyll Island, and paid a visit to Summer Waves water park. She saw all the chase lounges around, and the women laying out getting a tan. Which all seems fine. Then our baby says to me, "Go night-night" and "awwwwww." Basically she was wishing them a good sleep, as they were laying with eyes closed, so she thought they were going to sleep.

Interim Report Time

It must be school time again, because already I hear to fights about grades. Whether it is a person making "F's" and their parents being happy with "C's" or even "D's" to Someone making "C's" and their parents want them to make "A-B's" it seems the struggle is never-ending. It really doesn't matter (from the parents point of view) it is whatever the child is doing, it likely isn't enough. Meanwhile for the kid, he/she likely feels a little overwhelmed plus there is that whole understanding that is rarely fully understood that your grade point average is easily pulled down, not so easily pulled back up. (At least that is how it is at my house)

So my teenager says... "what do you want me to do? Make "A's" every-time?" Well... yeah, that would be a good start. Even better would be a true understanding by the teenager that I was not put on this earth for the sole purpose of making her life a living hell. I mean, I guess I could try, since I am already half way there (or better). My daughter is on the track that will lead to college, something I didn't really have (I could have, but it was much easier to join the Army, see the world... blah,blah,blah) and her mother's side of the family... let's just say they don't hold doing well in school as high as I do. But it really is not a problem, or that isn't THE problem.

Let me put it this way... I want my daughter to have the best life that she possibly can. With that comes sacrifices, a bit of work, of quite a bit of arguing (apparently). I'm doing all I can, though really, by the time they're a teenager, what can be done? Anyway, I think part of the problem is now that she is in high school, she is going to classes that have some sophomores, juniors, and seniors in them (she is a sophomore) and she wants to be around some senior/juniors and do what they do. All fine and good, but she is on a different track. So how do I get my kid to understand that while yes, it may be cool to hang with upper class-men, They are finishing up their high school and she is just beginning.

And tell me again why I care? I mean it really doesn't affect me. So all of this fighting and whatnot is for what? To make sure that she doesn't make a mistake that she will regret later in life. But it is her life, not mine. Always walking the tightrope.

A Part of the System

It's funny. Watching my little girl (the 5-year-old, AKA the Songbird) transition from daycare to school aged child... watching as she adapts and how we as parents cope with "losing our baby" and the kid we get back. I'm not saying any of this is bad, because it is going to happen no matter what. I am saying, wow, I had a preschooler and what I get back is something much better, richer... just plain more.

I think letting my kid go to school is just as much a boon to the school as I'm sure the school wants me to be assured that my daughter will be safe and learning. In return I get the future. Yeah I get the future astronaut or president or doctor or whatever. Seeing that right before your very eyes has an effect in you. I was too young to appreciate the teenager's first year. I mean I knew it was something, but I didn't write it down(at least that I can see). And I'm sorry for that but you can't change that now.

The teenager is about to be 16. Oh my god... Teenagers are full of drama and more drama and did I mention drama? Especially girls, So looking forward 10 years, it is really not going to be fun, but somehow I'll manage. Here is hoping that everyone has a good and successful school year. I will be awing the kindergarten achievements and holding on for dear life when I look at the high school. Isn't parenting a joy? Just keep looking at the hand turkey and count to ten (or 20 or 100) there is nothing to see in the high school...

Damn Kids Just Keep Growing Up...

Augustus (the baby) is learning that by putting words together, she can make sense. Yes it's true. The other day she said "Meow eat um-um (food)." I know to those folks that don't have kids or forgot what it was like to see the beginning of communication... it might not seem like much. But she is stringing words together, sometimes not making any sense (to us) but still she tries.

There is still the one word yells, usually when she wants something. "Muck" (milk) or "Juice" or "ahmi" (any lunch meat, but specifically salami). I can't remember the Songbird being so vocal about everything. And that is fine, a quiet kid is a good kid. Anyway once they learn to talk, it is just about impossible to get them to shut up. So I'm just sitting back and watching the interactions between the 3 kids, and us parents and marveling at it all.

The teenager has come along. We can trust her a bit now. Though I expect to be disappointed by her at any second. It is what it is. She likes being at the high school, she understands that it is work to keep her grades up and it will only get harder from here. Maybe, just maybe beating my head against the wall has made a small dent. We will see.

The Songbird broke our hearts again this week. She lost her first tooth this week. My wife cried. Which was interesting because she did not cry when she went off to kindergarten. But I certainly am no expert on the ways of women... but I boo hooed like a baby when I took the teenager to kindergarten, so I at least understand.

Those Dang Teenagers

I am trying to remain as impartial as possible... plus I'm trying to not get mad. And what does that do? Well it makes me laugh. And that is obviously the wrong thing to do. Basically my wife is tasked to get the house bright and shiny because we are having company over. Which is all good, because you like to look nice when people visit... you would hope that they will come back and visit again and again.

So anyway we are cleaning and getting ready... until it comes to my teenager's room. Then the proverbial shit hits the fan... and the fan breaks. My wife finds rotten food (I'm pretty sure you would find this in any teenager's room) and my wife's shoes, (maybe you would not find these in every teen's room) and the kicker... An empty bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade.

Oh boy, now we have a bit of a problem. On one hand, I was a teenager once, I can remember drinking my dad's rum. I also remember not wanting to drink it anymore because... I had such a bad hangover, I didn't ever want to see another drink with rum in it for years. But on the other hand, she got caught red handed (sorta) and she should be punished. I just don't know what that punishment should be and since it was just an empty bottle (1) I'm unsure if I should really do anything at all... So I laughed at the whole thing, because we all do it, or most of us do it... my memory is that I never want to do that again (I'm still a bit put off by anything with rum in it) and I can only hope that it is the same with the teenager. Dang teenagers...

Surf is Up!!!

I decided to show my 5-year-old (the Songbird) how to boogie board or body surf. I didn't have high expectations, but she did an awesome job. You have to get right where the waves are breaking, which was just a tad bit deeper than the Songbird was willing to go, but once I showed her (because the ocean is a living thing and sand is always moving) that if she would come out a little bit more it would get shallower. She did, proceeded to ride the waves like a big kahuna would.

Rocket Man

Or should I say torpedo man? Yes that was me getting my slide on. You can see way at the top of the slide my teenager. I left her. She was scared. As you can see from my "face" and the huge rooster tail... I ain't got time to be scared. It was fun though I must admit. And this was the "Nut Shot" of last year. I learned too pick my crotch up off the mat a bit, and that made the ride pleasurable. Though my teenager just thought she was going to die. She didn't. We are all still alive to witness the pure awesomeness of this picture in fact. (Thanks goes to Mrs. Mad Hatter for taking the photo) You are welcome :o)

Aye!!!

I was flipping channels and I came across an old episode of Happy Days and of course the "Fonz". So I told my teenager about the Fonz but she had never heard of him... what was the big deal? I could not believe it. I was beside myself... she has never heard of the Fonz... What kind of parent was I?


Vezi mai multe din Desene animate pe 220.ro

She still doesn't get it. You can take a horse to water...

The Littlest

I was just thinking... (yeah I do that now and then). My youngest, Augustus, is in short... a pip. I was talking to my wife, and the Songbird, our 5-year-old is so different, she follows the rules, she is a people pleaser, she is a 100% by the book sort of person. Which makes her easy to live with. Augustus on the other hand, is not any of those things. She usually ignores you when you call her name, does what she wants to do and is a teaser but also a snuggler. Literally I think of dogs and cats when I try to compare. The Songbird is a trusty golden retriever, Augustus is a cat.

But I love them both. I mean I know every parent is going to say that and it's true. I have three daughters, and three different people to love, and it is incredible the way each is different and each has their own way to get daddy or mommy's attention. Simply amazing. But back to Augustus. She is in an interesting position. Being the youngest, that means others have gone before. It also means she knows by default how to get around the rules. That is a problem.

Besides not really listening to us, she likes to tease us. You can see it in her eyes, she loves toying with mommy or daddy. She will act like she is coming to you to give you a book or remote or whatever, and then take it back, running and laughing the whole time. Not really the image I wanted, but it is what it is. Can we work with this? Does it matter? We are going to have to deal with it somehow.

But the kicker is while the Songbird was coming up, there wasn't a whole bunch of funny things that she did or said. With Augustus it is a virtual treasure trove of wild acts, funny sayings, impossible actions, and otherwise notable things about her. Not that I need something to talk about, but so long as we have her, there will never be a lull in conversation. More than likely she will make me laugh a lot, and more than likely make me sad even more, but she is the only Augustus I could ever want. Funny how you get just what you think you did not want and it turns out that you would not be happier any other way. Life is like that I guess. And I did say she was a snuggler... she can make you mad and then right before your eyes, give you a kiss or a hug and how are you supposed to stay mad at that? I haven't a clue...

The Sprinkler

You know it is hot summer-like weather here in South Carolina. Something I have always used to stay cool is a sprinkler. Even when I was a kid, I used to keep cool with the outside water hose and a sled sprinkler, you know one that oscillates back and forth. I'm here to tell you that you can expand you social circle with some water and a sprinkler.

Now a days my yard is automatically watered with a sprinkler system. Sounds fancy doesn't it? It is, but it just came with the house... one of the many extras that was making this house more desirable than the slew of other houses on the market. But I had a cast iron sprinkler, a hold over from my pre-automatic watering days. And there are some spots of my yard (not really my property, but I want it looking as green as my actual yard) that the sprinkler system doesn't touch.

When I crank the old sprinkler up, it brings kids out of the woodwork. And they can't help but want to play in it. I must admit, even I like to run through the sprinkler from time to time. And so without any further ado Summer can start now...

Goal!!!

No movie today. Sorry, but equally entertaining is my daughter's 5-year-old soccer team.

Last Monday, the Songbird scored her first goal. I am so proud, even got my chest puffed out a bit... I have been working with her now for about 3 weeks, and the hard work has paid off. When she score the goal, it was like everything was in slow motion. and she was in the right place at exactly the right time, and then BOOM she kicked the tar babies out of the ball and scored the goal. It was not "the game winner" but for us, I think it lit a fire and it is definitely something we can work on.

I know it is 5-year-old soccer, but I can see something in her eye, a drive, a determination, to win. They don't even keep score at these things, but by my recollection, we are 3-0... and a lot of that falls on the coach. Right now there are maybe 4 or 5 girls (out of 10) that want to win. Of the teams we played so far I see maybe 2 or 3 girls have that same will to win. Anyway, it is coaching that keeps everyone where they are supposed to be (i.e. defense is where the defense is, not at the other team's goal). And I think it is great the way she gives equal time to everyone. Ultimately those girls are there to have fun, but it is so much nicer to win than to lose.


So yes I am proud, because many things the coach tries to teach are the same things that me and the Songbird go over at home. Now from here there is a big hurdle that has already been crossed, she knows that with more time, practice, and dedication she can do better, and maybe we have found a great thing that will keep her up and going (not to mention her father) and not become a couch potato. We'll see, but I think so. Here is to (hopefully) many more goals to come.  

Another One Bites the Ear Tubes

So besides dealing with my mom's cancer, daughter's soccer, teenage daughter trouble, keeping a wife happy, paying bills, going grocery shopping (makin' groceries if you are from New Orleans) and life in general... my littlest, Augustus (who is vying for the Songbird name but may take "Dancing Queen" instead) needs tubes put in her ears and have her adenoids taken out as well. Why not take the tonsils out while we are at it? You got me... I have no idea.

Augustus has had 9 ear infections and that is just way too many. So off we go to get the problem solved (not really today, just in general) and hopefully afterward, we will have a non-sick, un-ear infected kid and won't have to look back.

Polishing Horns

The soccer bug has bitten us in the "Hatter" household. The 5-year-old, the Songbird as it were, has been signed up to play soccer down at the soccer complex on Buckwalter. We opted to let her do this rather than drive so far to go to dance class. It was welcomed by all.

But, there were some things, some unforeseen things that are creeping up on us all. The first is the bugs. Good god almighty the bugs at 6-7pm are horrendous. And it is sand gnats, which means really, it doesn't matter how much bug spray you use, it won't work. Well that is fine, I mean somebody has to feed the sand gnats until the mosquitoes can take over right?

The next is a "problem" with aggressive behavior... or the lack thereof. The Songbird is not exactly what I would call aggressive at all. In fact she may well be one of the meekest one's out there. I might could help, but it will take help from her mother-my wife. When I tried to tell her to be a more aggressive player, to go kick the ball, that the other team will not be nice, that she needs to take the ball and put it in the opposing team's goal... I got the what-for from the wife.

Why? Because she wants our little angel to stay that way and if I teach her anything else, well why would I do that? I'll tell you why, after going to a scrimmage game in where her own team was cut in two. If we don't do something she will likely quit. She came up to me after about 15 minutes of being 10 steps behind everyone else... and ball... with a pouty face like you would not believe.

I asked her "what's wrong?" And she said "Nobody will let me kick the ball." It was a Hallmark moment. I told her that not everybody is going to be a nice guy, and not everybody is going to let you kick the ball, because if they did, then they might lose. I'm hoping that I turned on a light for her, because really, getting eaten alive by those pesky sand gnats really isn't very much fun. I'd hate to do that just to make my child pout. I mean, I'm sure we could come up with something for my kid to do at home, where I don't get eaten alive, and costs me nothing.

The only part that was missing was my wife. She was inside, putting Augustus to bed and working on her graduate class work. If she would have been witness she would see that you do in fact need to put devil horns on that angel, or do something else. Sports is just like that. Not necessarily bad or mean, but you can only have one winner, and that usually goes to the fastest, more skilled, most aggressive player out there. I'm not saying I'm going to train my daughter to play on the US soccer team. Hell I don't even care if they win, but I will make it possible for her to possibly score a goal... Maybe.

See This?

I have to give it to her, Augustus loves to make people laugh. Here she was... sick, feeling crappy, and sticking her ear thermometer up her nose. She is like that. Hopefully she will find ways to make us all chuckle when she is better.

Are You Comfortable?

And so it goes... you should never get too comfortable, that is when you have kids. I thought everything was moving along quite nicely, thought it was.... Apparently I was wrong. The teenager decides to run off with her dog... and is gone for hours. My wife had her at school with her over the holiday (President's Day) because we had a sinking suspicion that she would get into trouble if left alone all day. So when they get home, my daughter immediately gets on the phone (because she doesn't have a cell phone) with this boy. 5 minutes later, she is gone. Her alibi? Taking the dog for a walk. Well, except she was gone for almost 3 hours.

Hmmm... if you are starting to smell something strange... it would be coming from my daughter's direction. I went looking for her when dinner was ready. I searched two neighborhoods, I came home empty handed. So we ate dinner, and my wife decides to go looking for her (it is getting dark outside now). She found her (I'm still not really sure how) in the woods with a boy. Yeah, my daughter swears they were just kissing, and all of that... I don't know, but she did what she did... and we think it was a known that she was going to get in trouble, she just off and did it anyway. No sense at all. I simply can not fathom it at all, but anyway.

I got all bent out of shape... I yelled at her, she yelled at me, cussing ensued, more yelling, I made myself sick with worry. Her mother/my ex was called to see if maybe she could come live with her (the jury is still out on that one). Two days later, after everything has calmed down, I was able to talk to some people, my wife was able to talk some people... we came up with a plan. It is not a good plan according to the teenager, but it is the best one we could come up with.

She will no longer ride the bus home in the afternoons. Why? Too much idle time on her hands means trouble... she will ride the bus to my wife's work (she is in high school my wife is in elementary) I would hope that the shame involved will straighten her out, but there is more. The teenager going to the ROTC military ball is out of the question now. The boy she met in the woods... that was to be her date. She can't be gone for more than 10 minutes when she walks her dog. We are looking to get rid of the dog. It just has a lot of baggage with her. It might be time to shed some of that... and we become one pet closer to a pet free home.

That is it, for now. I told her that if she doesn't like the rules I laid out for her, that she could be good and listen and they might change or she could go live with her mother. At first, I was through, I have been raising her on my own since she was 18 months old. There were times when her mother was around, but really it has all been me. I was ready to give up and let someone else have a crack at raising her. She has these mess up's, like at least one to three a year. And it seems she never learns. This time is her last chance. We put the onus on her. If she wants to stay here, if she wants to do well in school, stay with her friends, and basically make it in our house, she will have to live by our rules. If not, her mother can have her. Everything is pointing her in the direction of "straighten up and fly right"... but we have seen this all before. I'll let you know when she graduates...

Day 4

What is that they say about "you can sleep when you are dead?"  Yeah I don't think so. This is day 4 of Songbird's sickness. Day 2 of her sickness on antibiotics. I am so tired, yet can not go to sleep. Oh my...