Monday, February 28, 2011

Are You Comfortable?

And so it goes... you should never get too comfortable, that is when you have kids. I thought everything was moving along quite nicely, thought it was.... Apparently I was wrong. The teenager decides to run off with her dog... and is gone for hours. My wife had her at school with her over the holiday (President's Day) because we had a sinking suspicion that she would get into trouble if left alone all day. So when they get home, my daughter immediately gets on the phone (because she doesn't have a cell phone) with this boy. 5 minutes later, she is gone. Her alibi? Taking the dog for a walk. Well, except she was gone for almost 3 hours.

Hmmm... if you are starting to smell something strange... it would be coming from my daughter's direction. I went looking for her when dinner was ready. I searched two neighborhoods, I came home empty handed. So we ate dinner, and my wife decides to go looking for her (it is getting dark outside now). She found her (I'm still not really sure how) in the woods with a boy. Yeah, my daughter swears they were just kissing, and all of that... I don't know, but she did what she did... and we think it was a known that she was going to get in trouble, she just off and did it anyway. No sense at all. I simply can not fathom it at all, but anyway.

I got all bent out of shape... I yelled at her, she yelled at me, cussing ensued, more yelling, I made myself sick with worry. Her mother/my ex was called to see if maybe she could come live with her (the jury is still out on that one). Two days later, after everything has calmed down, I was able to talk to some people, my wife was able to talk some people... we came up with a plan. It is not a good plan according to the teenager, but it is the best one we could come up with.

She will no longer ride the bus home in the afternoons. Why? Too much idle time on her hands means trouble... she will ride the bus to my wife's work (she is in high school my wife is in elementary) I would hope that the shame involved will straighten her out, but there is more. The teenager going to the ROTC military ball is out of the question now. The boy she met in the woods... that was to be her date. She can't be gone for more than 10 minutes when she walks her dog. We are looking to get rid of the dog. It just has a lot of baggage with her. It might be time to shed some of that... and we become one pet closer to a pet free home.

That is it, for now. I told her that if she doesn't like the rules I laid out for her, that she could be good and listen and they might change or she could go live with her mother. At first, I was through, I have been raising her on my own since she was 18 months old. There were times when her mother was around, but really it has all been me. I was ready to give up and let someone else have a crack at raising her. She has these mess up's, like at least one to three a year. And it seems she never learns. This time is her last chance. We put the onus on her. If she wants to stay here, if she wants to do well in school, stay with her friends, and basically make it in our house, she will have to live by our rules. If not, her mother can have her. Everything is pointing her in the direction of "straighten up and fly right"... but we have seen this all before. I'll let you know when she graduates...

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