A Reflective Look Back

Well, it has been 2 years. I guess time flies, when you're having fun. I went back, and looked at some of the things I wrote 2 years ago. What is clear is the pre-stroke post-stroke difference. At first I wanted to go back and fix all the misspellings and write in complete sentences, but that will forever show what happened to me, so I decided to leave it.

It was a very long recovery, I'm still finding that things I did 6-9 months ago were crazy. But I'm always improving, and I can say that is good news. I'm lucky, one of the luckiest bastards I know. I have a wife that loves me, three beautiful daughters, both of my parents are still alive, and I have a job. Those are all good things. I have friends... some in high, and not so high places. I still have my two dogs and my (really my wife's) cat... who will outlive us all it seems.

I'm a happy guy, and I never want to take that for granted. I know, that when I started this blog there was a bit more "piss and vinegar" to what I was saying, what I was doing, and what I was thinking. I'm not sure whether I could have held anyone's feet to the flames if I wouldn't have had the stroke, but since then, well it is all kind of moot now isn't it?

I don't care if the school board, or mayor/city council, or newspaper is fucking up. Because they probably are, and there is nothing much I can do about it anyway. I choose my battles much more carefully now, than I did 2 years ago, when I would go full bore and not really care about anything but the truth.

I don't want to say I've lost the will to fight, but maybe I have. I cannot fight in those battles anymore, because even if I win, what do I really win? ... Yeah, nothing. I would love to take it back and be the man I was two years ago, still waiting for that time machine, I don't think it is coming. Even now I'm thinking about closing up shop over at the BlogJam, because no one there is writing anything... except me, and I already have this blog to keep humming along. Humming, humming, humming along...