Monday, August 2, 2010

No, No Kid of the Year Awards Here

I have to say, I don't know if I am all that great of a son, or if my wife is that great of a daughter. See both of our dads are addicted to the TV. They have to have it on... and pretty much fall asleep once a certain time goes by. And neither of us care for it much. I heard stories about how my grandfather always had a drink in his hand, wasn't very loving or supportive, and was an asshole to any and everybody.

Neither or our fathers is that bad but, is the TV taking up their time making it just as bad? My dad put in movie after movie after movie, because he thought I would love to see them. Heck, I didn't drive 12 hours to see a movie. But how could I tell him that? I couldn't... so I watched movie after movie.

My wife's efforts didn't end so miserably, but I think that is because we had her father on the plane to see us, instead of us at his place. We took out all the variables. No other people to interfere, at our house so the kids could do as they always do, we cooked and cleaned, it was a much better arrangement for us and for her dad.

That's not to say everything went hunky dory, it is just the actions were very minimal. Back to my dad, things ended on very bad terms. I'm not even sure if I'll see my father alive again. Maybe that is a bit harsh, or maybe not... I really don't know. But it is clear the man who raised me is not the man I saw a few weeks ago. But I can't say I'm the same either. We give and take, and maybe we all get along.

It really tares me up that we have this sense of conflict. Because I don't think it is about arguing about this or that. It should be, "Hey I haven't seen you in a long time, come in, sit down, tell me how you've been, let me tell you how I've been, Look I got a new car, boat, riding lawn mower, whatever. Hey would you like a drink?" And we have pleasantries until I leave, because it might be another 3-5 years before you see me again. Instead we are reminded why when we were teenagers we wanted to leave so bad. I hate that. And then there is the healthy dose of guilt that parents may not intend to give, but they give it none the less, and now you know why I only come around every 3-5 years... which is in and of itself a reason to feel the guilt.

Maybe next time we meet in a neutral location and if anyone has to leave, it is much easier... and hopefully closer to home.

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