Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I Endorse Marriage

Oh Boy. We seem to have gotten into this wondering if marriage is right for me... with all of these high-profile people getting caught doing things that they shouldn't. All I can do is shake my head. And all these reports do is make you want to reevaluate your own relationship with your spouse. And I'm sure, nobody really appreciates the heat being turned on them... without reason.

I used to be married to a different woman. It was rocky almost from the very beginning. There was times when I acted foolishly, infidelity crept in, and eventually I got a divorce. I hate to say it but, it can happen to almost anyone. Hell I could be typing these words and not knowing that I have been cheated on or cheated on my wife. I seriously doubt that, but you never know.

With all these people, why do we think that because this guy cheated or that guy had a love-child, or this sent pornographic photos of himself... why does that affect what me and my wife have? Honestly it doesn't. I know that promiscuity is out there, I used to be one of those guys. But I was young and naive and like everyone else... thought I would never get caught.

But I'm older now, I've sown the wild oats so to speak, I'm settled and I'm proud of what me and my wife have made together. Something that we could not have made if we were separate. And that means something. Is marriage obsolete or monogamy dead? I think the question is silly and it is crazy to even entertain. Sure maybe making getting married tougher or perhaps some other myriad of ways we could try to make marriages that last longer than they do. But really? Have you been through a divorce? Once you get to that point, you know you aren't going to change your mind.

Is there ever a lull in my marriage? Oh yes. Between 3 kids, 4 parents that are getting older, a cacophony of siblings and their kids, friends, work issues, education priorities... Yes there can be a lull from time to time. The important thing to remember is to not jump at the first other person you come across. Think about what happens afterward, after the lights come on and you've done got into trouble... what then? It probably wasn't worth it, as many a congressman will tell you. Does that make marriage dead? Hardly.

It isn't supposed to be kisses and hearts every minute of everyday. If you think that is... well you got issues that someone with a medical degree (i.e. psychologist) might need to look at. Nope it is not all balloons and butterflies but it is the best option we (my wife and I) have and that being said, it is not too shabby.

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