Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Cancer is Bitch

My mothers cancer prognosis is not looking so good. She has finished up her 1st round of chemotherapy and it did not shrink the tumor as much as we had hoped. So where do we go from here? Well first my mom has to finish being mad at her oncologist. Because with every visit he said "it is shrinking, we've got this thing beat"... well that is all good if it was shrinking, but not so much if it is not. I feel so bad for my mom right now and in some respects for the oncologist too. What was he going say? "Nope no change, deposit another $30,000 grand" (However much cancer cost)?

So she feels not only sick from all the chemo, she feels lied to as well, and nobody can tell her what she is supposed to feel right now. At this point we are looking at a mastectomy. I know my mother is not exactly a spring chicken, but when you talk about taking a part of your body and cutting it off, there is bound to be some mixed feelings at least. Anger, sadness, longing, rage, and I'm sure others as well.

The worst part about it is, now that she has been through so much with the chemo and the bald head and the being disabled from work... she already is not the same person. She is broken, I remember feeling broken when I could not feed myself when I suffered with the stroke. It is a sad state to be in, but it is only temporary (we hope). They say by Thanksgiving my mom will start to make the turn around. I hope so...

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