Mayfest Aint the Same Now That the Ugly Dog Is Gone

The Mayfest or the Bluffton Village Festival is coming up. I can't go. I look out at Thumper's grave site pretty much everyday. His grave is right on the edge of my garden, and within eye-shot of where I park my car. I am reminded of the fact that he died all the time. I don't think I need to be reminded of this day, the day he was supposed to shine as ugly dog. I still miss him, I'm not crying or anything, but I feel like he should have been around longer. Also the whole fishing his body out of the pond (half a body anyway) and burying him was rough, and of course didn't smell to good either.

Now I take a slingshot out and fire off a few rounds in hopes that alligators will find somewhere else to call home. I have yet to hit anything, though it does make the gator swim at the back end instead of the front end. Still I have the memories, I'll always have the memories. Why a rather silly, hairless dog has had this affect on me is still a bit of a mystery. I loved that damn dog, I'm really sorry he died the way he did, and I just don't know if I can ever go to the Mayfest again. There was plenty to see and do without the ugly dog competition. But that was the reason we went. Now, now not so much. There will NEVER be another dog like Thumper for me. The memory of him finding a chair anytime I told him to sit... I mean he was hairless, and he didn't appreciate getting his genitalia wet or grass touching it in anyway, shape, or form. I also remember the reaction to anyone who "petted" him for the first time.

Thumper was "naked" but he was warm and his skin was a bit tougher (I hope that damned alligator got indigestion) He was your best buddy when you were cold. You'd snuggle up next to him and be transformed almost instantly from cold to hot. He was also an expensive dog. $1400 to be exact. I never wanted a dog. But a girlfriend did. So this was a compromise. No hair, no fleas, ok I could deal with that. Well the girlfriend paid for him, and then left a year later... but left the dog with me.

And that was that, he came with me to the Lowcountry, I got married to a new girlfriend, we had two kids together, and while Thumper is no longer with us, he is with us in memories. Stupid dog...

We Asked For This...

So with all this dog stuff, my daughter the Songbird, does something so innocent, so loving, so child like, I can't even describe how it makes me feel. She left a single rose, that grows in our yard, on Thumper's grave site. She left a rose and said "Thumper, my good boy, I love you. Goodbye" and that is just a 4-year-old speaking from the heart. I'm proud of her, I'm sad as I think of Thumper, but so proud of her. Of the people I've confided in, most say "I would kill the alligator." Well, I sort of had that reaction already, when I was fishing the body out of the water.

But would that change anything? Not in the least. The gator was just doing what the gator does. We wanted the house next to the lake, with that lake, pond, lagoon, comes some expectation of risk. I knew that when I bought the place. If I would have ever thought that I'd lose my best friend because of it, maybe I would reconsider, but what is done is done. Lord as much I would love to punch the reset button, I know there is no reset button.

Back to the Songbird and the situation we find ourselves in... We went to Michaels and got one of those cement stepping stones to forever remember him. You can see it below.


It is by no means perfect, but neither was he, which makes it just right. I still haven't come to terms completely with how he died and what went wrong, but I'm learning. At least now I got it in here, and the stone, and the countless others who have taken pictures of him. And that is good enough.

And So It Was...

Well, I guess it finally happened. I let my dog live un-tethered as it were. My wife always advised against it. She was right, clearly I was wrong. Now I have to somehow explain to my 4-year-old that Thumper (her “good boy”) isn’t coming home. She knows, but she really doesn’t know why.

I’ll never forget how when you would tell him to sit, he would get in a seat, how he won and lost the ugly dog contest, how he pranced around like a pony, basically how he was our dog. I’m not really one to pine over my dog, but you have to admit, he was unique… and incredibly stupid. I guess that is why I am so upset. I thought of how it is the teenager’s fault, how it is my fault, how it is the stupid dog’s fault, or even the alligator’s fault. But no matter, it won’t bring him back.

I think about how violently he must have gone. How cruel sipping water out of the pond, only to be gobbled up by a waiting alligator. That’s what I think happened, but I really don’t know... So I found Thumper’s body in the pond. I also found the alligator that killed him. I really don’t know what possessed me, but I was bound and determined to get the body back out of the water.

Why? I don’t know. But I was damned if I was going to let that alligator have the rest of my dog. So I got some rope, tied some weights together and fished his body out of the water. The smell would knock you over, but I pressed on. I took his body back to my house, and I started digging a hole. My teenager helped, while crying and telling me how sorry she was.

It was just too gruesome to take a picture of him. Basically his back end was gone, and there were teeth marks all over his body. Really it was bad. So now I’m forced to wonder, what have we learned from all of this?

• Keep your dogs on a leash at all times

• Respect Mother Nature

• Love your pets, because you just never know when their time is up

Finally here some of his best pictures and movies. I wish I had more but I'm glad to get this.

Here we see the "Good Boy" getting acquainted with the Songbird.

Here he is with the teenager, (she wasn't a teenager then though)

Just chillin' with his butt in the air.

Trying to be My Little Pony, We told him to sit, you see where he sat right?

Xena (the schnauzer) and Thumper chase each other around.

Laying out, working on the tan.

Looking regal. Hurry take a picture.

This is one of my favorites, he is really yawning, but it does look like he is laughing. Maybe he is talking from beyond the grave... Never stop laughing.

Pretty Pony

With this being my last go (maybe), I've decided to take out all and any stops. I let my daughter have her way with my dog. What happened to him? Well he looks like a My Little Pony for real. "How did you do this?" you might be thinking. With washable markers and a few treats. He (the dog) was very open to this... especially the treats part. Please don't bother me with any of that crap about how I am ruining his natural blah blah blah. It is washable marker and it is just for one day. No dyes were used, and really he was relaxed and let us do it to him.

Since he has white hair on the top of his head... and pretty much nowhere else, it was fairly easy. this was our inspiration:


Maybe it will be our downfall, or just the opposite, but we have to try, at least once. And so we tried and so we sort of failed. Well not really, we got 2nd place, the judging was hung (tied) and so they left it up to the crowd to decide... and they went with the other dog.

I think if anything, I learned an important lesson in all of this... Don't try to do anything cute or funny or really anything when it comes to the ugly dog contest because whenever I do something always happens and I wind up no further ahead than if I just would have left it alone.

The hair washed out fine, the butt tattoo didn't make it. It was rubbed off by the time the competition started, and man was it hot. It was so hot as soon as the Ugly Dog was over, we left seeking some place cool. To anyone that may have come out to see... well if he didn't take a thousand pictures, and become horded by everyone and anyone, maybe next year... Maybe next year.