A Gift

I got a present, just because... Basically I woke up (last, because... just because) and I got ready, be-bop down stairs and see this along with a note... "I love you XO Mrs. Mad-Hatter"

What did she get me? Old School Hip Hop. A mix tape of sorts. All kinds of memories flashed before my eyes. The break-dancing thing where my older brother got together with friends, gathered some cardboard boxes and tried to become a star.... Nobody made it, thank God. Lots of sexual innuendos, some more apparent than others. Some songs that are just funny, because some goofy white guy would imitate them.







Anyway, for $5 my wife bought me an incredible gift. That is why I love her so much. Yes I know this was on the clearance rack, I know the songs are pushing 20-30 years old, but in my mind, it is the perfect gift.  something I might buy for myself, but she found it on sale. And it is funny, which I'm all about. Who wouldn't spend 5 bux to laugh a little? Thanks must go out to my wife, she knows me better than I know myself.

I Endorse Marriage

Oh Boy. We seem to have gotten into this wondering if marriage is right for me... with all of these high-profile people getting caught doing things that they shouldn't. All I can do is shake my head. And all these reports do is make you want to reevaluate your own relationship with your spouse. And I'm sure, nobody really appreciates the heat being turned on them... without reason.

I used to be married to a different woman. It was rocky almost from the very beginning. There was times when I acted foolishly, infidelity crept in, and eventually I got a divorce. I hate to say it but, it can happen to almost anyone. Hell I could be typing these words and not knowing that I have been cheated on or cheated on my wife. I seriously doubt that, but you never know.

With all these people, why do we think that because this guy cheated or that guy had a love-child, or this sent pornographic photos of himself... why does that affect what me and my wife have? Honestly it doesn't. I know that promiscuity is out there, I used to be one of those guys. But I was young and naive and like everyone else... thought I would never get caught.

But I'm older now, I've sown the wild oats so to speak, I'm settled and I'm proud of what me and my wife have made together. Something that we could not have made if we were separate. And that means something. Is marriage obsolete or monogamy dead? I think the question is silly and it is crazy to even entertain. Sure maybe making getting married tougher or perhaps some other myriad of ways we could try to make marriages that last longer than they do. But really? Have you been through a divorce? Once you get to that point, you know you aren't going to change your mind.

Is there ever a lull in my marriage? Oh yes. Between 3 kids, 4 parents that are getting older, a cacophony of siblings and their kids, friends, work issues, education priorities... Yes there can be a lull from time to time. The important thing to remember is to not jump at the first other person you come across. Think about what happens afterward, after the lights come on and you've done got into trouble... what then? It probably wasn't worth it, as many a congressman will tell you. Does that make marriage dead? Hardly.

It isn't supposed to be kisses and hearts every minute of everyday. If you think that is... well you got issues that someone with a medical degree (i.e. psychologist) might need to look at. Nope it is not all balloons and butterflies but it is the best option we (my wife and I) have and that being said, it is not too shabby.

The Sprinkler

You know it is hot summer-like weather here in South Carolina. Something I have always used to stay cool is a sprinkler. Even when I was a kid, I used to keep cool with the outside water hose and a sled sprinkler, you know one that oscillates back and forth. I'm here to tell you that you can expand you social circle with some water and a sprinkler.

Now a days my yard is automatically watered with a sprinkler system. Sounds fancy doesn't it? It is, but it just came with the house... one of the many extras that was making this house more desirable than the slew of other houses on the market. But I had a cast iron sprinkler, a hold over from my pre-automatic watering days. And there are some spots of my yard (not really my property, but I want it looking as green as my actual yard) that the sprinkler system doesn't touch.

When I crank the old sprinkler up, it brings kids out of the woodwork. And they can't help but want to play in it. I must admit, even I like to run through the sprinkler from time to time. And so without any further ado Summer can start now...

Didn't Feel a Thing...

I was crashing (in other words, my blood sugar was extremely low) the other day... and usually I can feel it. I get light headed, and I think I am very funny, my wife can't stand this as a low blood sugar is nothing to laugh at (of course she is right). Other times I become agitated easily. Neither was the case on this night. I went low (37 to be exact) and it can be because I took to much insulin and/or I did not eat enough carbohydrates or I misjudged who many carbs was in whatever I ate. Typically it is the later that always trips me up.

So anyway the only reason I knew I was crashing is because I was reading email and understood none of it. It might as well have been written in Chinese. Except I could make out that there were words, and could put them together as sentences, but I had absolutely no idea what was being said. It was at this point I took my blood sugar, saw that it was low, nudged my wife (god bless her) out of bed and told her I was low. She got me a bowl of cereal.

And I'm alive today because of her. And I know I probably don't show enough appreciation toward her, but I really like being alive, and so I thank her. And as for the crash with no feeling... I guess for now on if I read something but cannot make any sense out of it, that will have to be a "feeling".

This is What They Were Talking About

I finally got a weekend, where yeah it was nice out (not this weekend, last weekend). Not too hot or cold, no bugs, paradise. My hammock was screaming my name... and I of course... complied. As did my dog (the other one).

A Trip to the Zoo

Over the weekend last week, we had the opportunity to drive up to Columbia and while there we went to the zoo. Well first we had to drop my wife off at a school, as the real reason for going to Columbia was for her to attend this meeting. So we went to the mall, scoped out a good place to get our grub on and generally played.

As you can see the kids were pretty hyped up about going to the zoo. I don't think any kid suddenly becomes disappointed but anyway... We went to Hudson's Smokehouse for lunch, pretty good. I really liked the collard greens, but the mac-n-cheese was a hit with the kids, but really everything was good to Augustus. (Notice the shiner is still there)

So with the meeting out of the way and with full bellies, we head for the zoo. And there have been some changes there since we last went. Mainly, that the sea lions are not there anymore, replaced by a kangaroo walk about thing. You can walk right up to them, however you must stay on the path, and the kangaroos are off in the distance (at least they were when we went through). We miss the sea lions, but we pressed on.

There was a new baby giraffe, and who doesn't like seeing some cute baby animals?

But the show stopper had to be the Lorikeet exhibit.The Songbird loved this, as did her mother and the teenager. Basically you get swarmed by these birds hoping you'll have the $2 cup of sugar water (or whatever, I didn't taste it) and if you did, then prepare to have the birds come out of the woodwork. 

Notice how I didn't include Augustus in the list, because while I was snapping some pictures with one hand and holding her in the other, a lorikeet flew up on my shoulder and she was not ok with that at all. She likes her wildlife at a distance I reckon.

Kind of like this, there is at least a cage between the two. Through she again started crying when that white goat got up on his hind legs and erased that comfort zone that she thought existed.

The rest of the trip was fairly uneventful, well that was until we got to Yemassee. The Songbird said she had to pee really, really, really, really bad. We took the first exit we could, but there was no actual bathroom available. Just an old abandoned gas station. Try as we may, we could not get the Songbird to just "go" in the woods. So we did make it to the next exit, and they had a much more "civilized" bathroom there. So we learned that she might say she has to go, but really, really, really? I think not!

The Shiner

Yeah, Augustus has quite the shiner on her forehead. Why? Because she is learning to walk, and falls with bruises are a necessary evil in the process of it all. Thankfully, for her mom and dad, she acts like nothing happened, and so we still get scared when she walks or "dives" off of the bed or sofa. It is good worries though, she is growing up after all.

I Endourse the Smokehouse

I don't really do this, mainly because the chance to review a place comes along just a few times. Basically The Smokehouse had a contest, and my wife entered it. The prize? Brunch for two... and she actually won. We were kind of dumbfounded at first, because we never win anything. Ok so throw that out the window, we won something now... we are over it.

So we take the two littlest kids with us, because we don't even try to find a sitter for a Sunday... too short of notice, besides, who would we pick anyway? The teenager has already got on our last nerve (She was supposed to get her report card on Thursday, we didn't see it until Saturday, teacher conferences were on Thursday-Friday... oh well partly my fault I guess). So we left the teenager at home and took Augustus and Songbird with us anyway.

Now this place is all the way on the island, so with that comes the expectation that it is for the tourists and it will be expensive. Well since it was almost the end of October (tourist season is pretty much over) and the meal was gratis those two things didn't matter at this time. But I will say that the Smokehouse made me willing to try it some other time.

I ordered the huevos rancheros, or ranch style eggs that was delectable and my wife had eggs anyway you like them and also claimed they were tasty. It also included were hash brown potatoes, a fruit bowl, and mimosas. I have to say there was almost nobody there (probably because tourist season was over) but that suited me just fine, and as far as bringing the kids, the place was very accommodating, it only cost us $5 a piece to feed them. Chicken fingers and mac & cheese, what more could a 1-4 year old want?

Yeah, we got a free meal, and hey I won't look a gift horse in the mouth, but more importantly The Smokehouse may have got me to drive out to Hilton Head or recommend them instead of some other place. A smart decision, I think, plus the food was awesome. Now we will have to see if they can cook more than eggs.     

I See a Little Rug Rat Looking at Me...

So on one of my trips home, I see this...

What the heck is she doing? She is just happy to see me, and goes on to slobber all over the door, pound on the glass, and generally make a mess of everything. And that is why I love her. Just one little smile can turn my day from crappy... to awesome without even trying. Yeah I'm a sucker, but a happy sucker all the same.

There is a Person in There

I have to gush over what my baby girl is doing lately. She is crawling, and crawling, and crawling some more. Which means you pick up a lot, and dig stuff back out of her mouth that you forgot to pick up. She started waiving "bye bye" and "hi" and for the first time I saw something, I don't know what it was, but while I was holding her, just me and her, I could feel, or sense, or something that she was learning me. She would smile, and give kisses... those open mouth kisses that babies give before they learn to pucker... and basically figure me out.

Yes it was learning time for me too, but I could see that she was learning far more from me than I from her... kind of. Because I could sense it, yeah, I know that puts me on a bus to "Weirdoville". But I could... I could sense what will one day be a person and she was giving me a glimpse (how ever small) of what she is going to be like. She is her own person. I know, it is strange, but it is also real. I could look into her eyes and she could look back, and there was an understanding there. It may not have been very long or complex, but it was there. It was nice, which may help me to remember moments like this when they hit the teenage years... I'm just saying.

I Endorse Letting Go

I have to say or at least I try to say that I'm not worried about my job. But everybody worries about their job, especially when just having a job is something to worry about. I try and try and try to not let it affect me. Because you start to let your imagination run wild. Did they like me? Could I have done this or that better? Maybe I could have worked harder or longer, maybe then I would still be there.

The truth is none of that really matters, at least not that much in my case. It is business, that is all and I shouldn't take it as anything else but that. But it is hard, when you put so much of yourself for so many years, not to take it personally. Still, you know it wasn't because you combed your hair a certain way, or drove a certain car, or any of that. It was and is business.

I continue to put forth my best effort, as a colleague told me... sometimes, you just keep swimming. (a Dori line out of Finding Nemo) And that is what I do, because I can't do anything else. So I just keep swimming, keep smiling, and keep being everything I think that the customer needs or wants... and hopefully at the end of the day, they will recognize that perhaps they want to keep me. Maybe, you just never know... nothing is guaranteed.

Might be the Last

And so, this will be our 6th time going to the Ugly Dog Contest. I hate to say this, but it may be our last. It is not because of the dog. He's fine. Now so far nothing has been said... yet, and this may all be a bunch of worrying for nothing, but with cost containment, and everything else. My contract may not get re-signed. And thus I will need to find work... and probably move. It is the way of the world. I know the business I'm in, and it happens all the time. Anyway it will be 6-9 months before I find out, literally anything could happen. But it does leave a question of whether or not we'll be here for the next one.

It doesn't make me like it anymore than anyone else. But it is what it is. Plus I will likely have to take a huge loss on my home, as we purchased it for 30-40 thousand more than it is worth today. That really sucks, but it is not like I'm alone in the house under water department. I could go on and on but this is about the dog, not my finances. Besides, I might get that contract signed anyway.

Everybody come on out, have a good time, buy stuff, and cheer for my dog, the ugly dog to win. It is an even year. Which means good luck... see below.

2005 - 2nd place
2006 - 1st place
2007 - 3rd place
2008 - 1st place
2009 - 2nd place
2010 - ???

Here is hoping to go out on top. I don't know where the future will find me (here or there), but I'm sure we will have a bit of fun along the way. So if you want to see the enigma, the hero, the hairless dog who actually has some hair on his head, come out this Saturday, and you will see him, maybe pet him (he is warm/hot to the touch just so you know), and maybe give him a bite of your hot dog or sammich (ok not really... dogs in my house are on a no people food regimen... but accidents happen).

I Endorse... Child Like Happiness

The littlest version of us... that is the baby, thinks everyone and everything is funny. Why is that? I haven't got a clue. But man what I wouldn't give to be that happy again. I don't think I've been that happy, even under various drugs and alcohol. I'm just saying, life is awesome when you are 4 months old. I think it pretty much keeps that level of awesomeness until about age 5, from there it slacks off a bit, and then goes away completely when you have a job.

Not to say that grownups don't know what makes them happy, but they are anywhere near as happy as a baby. I can't ever think of a time where I could poop in my pants, have somebody clean me up, and be beaming with joy. Maybe when I'm 80, though I doubt it.

So here's to being young, though none of us will ever be young again, maybe you have kids or grand kids and you can see that kind of happiness in them, that kind of happy that can not be weighted down with bills, or taxes, or really anything. I feel sad because once they do (the children) understand about the world, they cannot have as much fun as before, so take it in while you can.

I Endorse...The Saints

Ok up until the last couple of years, I was a closet Saints fan. I mean, you kind of have to be. Because there wasn't a whole lot to be proud of when you think of their record. Well now it is different. Going into the Championship game they are 1 ranked in the NFC, and if they can go all the way... well, lets just say it would be probably the biggest reason to party in New Orleans since Drive-Thru Daiquiris was invented (yes you can get a drive-thru daiquiris in New Orleans... you aint supposed to drink it 'til you get home, *wink wink*) .

My wife keeps telling me, "Why not just be happy they got this far?" but for me it won't be resting easy until they have that super bowl ring on their hands (as the winner) . I have absolutely nothing to do with whether they win or lose, but the whole city projects itself on if they win or lose. Hell, it wasn't so long ago that when a celebrity was in town the running joke would be, have they been fitted for their Aint's bag yet.

That being said, I think this is their best chance they'll ever get. 14-45 was an impressive win, can it be repeated? God I hope so. We've a long way since sucking for the first 30 or so years. The perennial loser, going to get a shot at victory, if you ask me, that is a true life Cinderella story.

Meanwhile, I force myself into reading everyone's opinion about the the upcoming games, and they put the question mark on the Saints. Why because they have never been here before. So I guess I'll sit here and hope that the Saints can pull another one out. Not that they don't think they'll win, but until you do, they (the media) will always be on your back.

I Endorse... Kids in the Bed

Well, it has come to an end, that is the driving of my daughter to school. Ah yes, I'll get a few extra winks in the morning... maybe. But something else happened, she the songbird, made herself a comfortable bed, right between her mother and myself and went back to sleep. This was at 5:20 in the morning.

Usually when she gets up like that there is crying involved. This time, nothing. I put my arm around her, kissed her, and we both drifted in-between sleep and being awake. That is until the tickle monster showed up.... and the bad toe nail. You know, the one that shows up and rubs you the wrong way. Then it is over. Because that is when the tickle monster gets you, when you least expect it.

One finger just lightly brushes across a sensitive body part... and it is on. Who will win I have no idea... I don't even think there is a winner. But once the monster shows up, you might as well get ready to go.

First she starts to tickle me, then I tickle her... inadvertently tickling her mother, my wife, and there is no coming back from that. So we all tickle each other until we gave all we had. And we finally gave up, and got ready for the day. But for that brief moment in time, we were happy, very happy in fact. Which is why I do not recommend letting your kids sleep in the same bed, except for those occasions when I do. You can understand me right?

I Endorse... Fatherhood

It is a nice feeling, being a dad. What I'm saying is, since my wife was put on bed rest and now with having to care for the baby, I have taken up the role of bringing my 3-year-old (the songbird... a new name, because she is always singing) to daycare.

Now I did not like this, or want this... It was out of my way to work, adding 30 minutes to my trip (one way), plus I'm really not a "morning person". Turns out that neither is the songbird. So we have two people that hate mornings together in the mornings. Sounds like Broadway's next hit.

Anyway I'm resigned to facts. That I will take my daughter to "school" until the new year. And that is ok, I mean nobody is going to give me a fat check or an award, but we for the most part got down to a routine, that works for everyone. So on one particular morning, one where we are early, which is not very often, I pull into the drop-off area and we have 5 minutes to kill.

So I turn on the CD player, take the songbird in my lap, and just jam. She shows me her moves, I show her mine, and we are for the most part inside a moment that will soon end, but for that brief moment there is nothing else that matters. Not work, not school, not sisters, or mothers or anything else. Just us, jamming out to one song. That is why I love being a dad.

I Endorse.... Looking Like a Dork

So as you may already know I'm a fan of Guitar Hero. It is fun, and it helps me with my recovery, and who wouldn't like it really? Something has come to my attention however... you look like a complete dork when you play it. That's OK I mean, as long as everyone is having fun, right?

Well according to some among us (the teenager) I get extra dorky when Van Halen songs come along. And I admit that in order to keep up with Eddie Van Halen, I'm required to do... more. Make faces, hunch over the guitar, swing with a little more force, I have to just to move my fingers fast enough. Look at the videos below, and you'll understand. I mean hell, the man is a god. At least a god of the electric guitar... To me anyway.

I Endorse... Fire

I had a fire over the weekend. You know, inside the fire pit, roast some marshmallows kind of fire. It was at this time that I decided that life is full of these special moments... if we want to make them special. I was out there, stoking the fire with my teenager and 3-year-old. Reminiscing on fires gone by.

That is kind of weird right? But it is true. I think of places in my youth, like the backwoods or the creek or even later when I was an adult in northeastern Georgia. Granted it is much more organized than it was back then. We would just gather up brush, or a fallen tree or what have you. Now I buy the wood, who would have thunk it? But I do, and it is much more contained in my little fire pit than it ever was in times of my youth.

But the effect is the same. It is the calming of the fire, the forget everything else and just watch the fire, that doesn't really change, and yet I can't take my eyes off of it. Just sit back and enjoy the show. I hope that for my daughters the making of a fire is equally magical and undefinable. It just is. It can be that way if you have a fireplace, though it is not the same, and honestly, the amount of time you will use it doesn't seem to justify the cost, and if there is natural gas involved... forget about it.

But I do recommend you take that fire pit, or just dig a hole (saving the grass) and make a fire over the weekend. Even if you have to buy some wood like I did, It is one of the simplest pleasures I know of... one I don't think any of us should do without.

I Endorse The Shot

Just to let you know... I took the annual flu shot and the H1N1 (swine flu) "shot" the mist up the nose the other day. And I can say, I feel nothing, which is what I'm supposed to feel. There were/are some reports of "hey I took it and now I'm bald", or "I did it and I grew a third testicle", or whatever. I really don't know what they said, but it was a bunch of hooey anyway.

If anyone is a prime candidate for having something bad happen to them, when it should be good, it is me. I came, I took, I went about my day, the end. I would say that unless you like to gamble or you like being sick, go take the shot. It's easy, it doesn't hurt, and it will if not make you immune to the flu, it will certainly make you better off than if you had nothing.

I had the flu one time, and that is not an experience I ever wish to repeat. I have been in healthcare pretty much my whole life, via my work, or my mom's work, or as a patient for different things. I have seen the insides of doctor's offices, emergency rooms, and various other clinics, go take the shot.

I Endorse Kids.... Again

So I have to get all mushy on my kids, just for a second. You see you can be have a bad day, a really really horrible day, and it just doesn't matter to a 2-year-old (see my first endorsement here, which is also the last time I posted as a "whole man"). She'll make you smile anyway. I love that. That special something that's only found in the young amongst us. No matter how bad (or good) I have it, I can hug her and it all melts away. This is why I have kids, you can kind of get that with animals, but it's present in kids everywhere.

Yesterday she put her hands on me and said she loved me, how can anything compete with that? You can't and thats why I urge anybody to have kids (that doesn't already have them). I hear it's pretty good with grandkids too.

Now I know, it doesn't mean that everything is peachy, because it's not, nothing ever is. But the times that she is good, by far outweigh bad... even if/when she poops on the floor, or is up sick all night (both of which happened this week), it is still better that she is here with us, then us being childless, with a convertible, and no bills... I think.